Q uestions are the most powerful tool we can use to increase abundance, outlook, achievement, and ultimately the level of fulfillment that we experience every day in our life. To quote Tony Robbins, John Demartini and other transformational leaders…
The quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions.
Many times, our own self-talk is limited, to say the least.
It’s limited in our beliefs, our reality of what we’re able to experience and largely influenced by childhood experiences from parents, teachers and anchoring experiences which taught us to dream a little less.
It Starts With Awareness
You wake up from a deep slumber and out of nowhere, thoughts start rushing to your mind with the speed and intensity of a freight train.
“How can I get through this day?”
“How can I afford to pay my bills?”
“Why are they getting the results that I’m not?”
“How can I get as fast as possible to Friday?”
“Why can’t I find my dream partner?”
Notice the words I’ve italicized — they all share a common theme, forcing our mindsets to constrict and not expand.
If you study any type of science, any type of biology, any type of developmental psychology, you will understand that the purpose of life is growth.
If all of our questions are going directly against that purpose, then we’re doing ourselves a massive disservice, and it’s no wonder why most of us feel stuck.
As a student of NLP, or neuro-linguistic programming, I’ve been fascinated with how the language we use on ourselves and others shapes our reality.
Below, we’ll go through 5 questions designed to open up your mind, leave your old self behind and craft a mindset designed to achieve any result you’d like.
What am I grateful for today?
This is the first question that I ask myself in the morning and teach all my clients to do exactly the same.
When we’re in deep, authentic gratitude — there is simply no space for stress, frustration or victim games.
Upon waking, most people immediately shift into a high stress mode, thinking of what’s missing, what they don’t have, what urgent, yet unimportant tasks have to be done.
What we focus on expands, which fills our headspace the rest of the day and is exactly why we can’t be present in a conversation a few hours later or at dinner with the family at night.
Use this question as a reminder that your biggest stressor in life is someone else’s dream luxury.
Who can I create value for today?
Life is all about creating value for other people — whether you’re an entrepreneur or not, this is an essential question to ask.
Shifting your attention away from yourself and instead on serving others is how you create impact, fulfillment and ultimately — financial abundance.
Adding value can be anything — going above and beyond for a co-worker, grabbing someone a coffee, a random act of kindness, helping an elderly person with the groceries or simply caring a little deeper.
As one of my good friends likes to eloquently say:
Give a shit.
In a world where few people actually care, you’ll feel more fulfilled and connect with a part of you designed to be part of a collective.
What is one action step I can do to move forward today?
What I see in most people who don’t move forward with something they want is a lack of trust in themselves to achieve completion.
As humans, we need constant proof that they are moving forward and inching closer — even a little sign of progress is powerful.
What this question opens up is the power of Kaizen — the Japanese concept of steady, continuous improvement focused on playing the long game.
In a world of instant gratification and social media, the long game truly wins and can set us up for a day full of success, simply by taking a simple action every day.
The key word is simple; launching your bestseller tomorrow is highly unlikely.
However, blocking out 30 minutes of undistracted writing time on your outline is very realistic.
Or maybe you want to be a public speaker and get paid $10,000 for a speech.
Today’s step may be to research a local Toastmaster’s club or attend your first meeting.
How do I want to be remembered?
This is a deeper, legacy-based question — because in the day to day to day life, we forget that life is fleeting and this experience will be over soon.
Steve Jobs harnessed this reminder, saying:
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
So, how do you want to remembered?
List those traits out and answer the question, then consciously choose to operate in that way…today.
The purpose of this question is to dream bigger — have the audacity to know you can pull it off, while understanding you can work towards that at this very moment.
Did I give everything I had today?
Reflection is an important part of growth because many times we go through life at a mile a minute, and never really spend time reflecting.
That’s why I teach my Sunday Reflection to countless people — because celebrating our wins and setting the path for the next week is of utmost importance.
Asking this question at the end of the day is powerful and knowing that if you showed up with full intention and effort, despite the outcome — is what truly matters.
In other words, it’s a practice of detachment and allows you to let go and surrender at the end of the day.
The Question Challenge
Asking the right questions, like anything else — takes practice and is like working a muscle in the gym.
Imagine if you could train yourself to think abundantly in every situation, so much so that it became your standard way of operating.
To do this, write down 20 questions that open up your vision, abundance, creativity and possibility every single day for the next 7 days and see how this begins to shift your worldview.
You’ll become more creative, resourceful, fun to be around and oh yeah — way less stressed.
We cling to celebrity stories and shocking break-ups.
We get high off sports teams victories and get crushed at losses.
We identify with political campaigns and a us vs. them mentality.
…all because we’re filling a void that must be filled.
A universal law states that nature will fill a vacuum, so where there’s space — something will go in.
If your life’s purpose can’t be identified, or you’re simply going through the motions — something is going to fill it and the lowest denominator are things like sports, gossip, reality TV and politics because you need to feel like you’re living a dream, even if it’s someone else’s.
Wherever You Are, Be There
I was in Sedona with my girlfriend recently and we were in the beginning stages of our awesome relationship.
Sedona is a spiritual mecca of sorts — a work of beauty and a place where people go to achieve higher levels of consciousness, unplug or do some type of adventure or retreat.
We’re sitting at a quaint, typical Sedona wine bar — full of culture and glorious people watching, and of course, some deep conversation.
The wine is flowing and we’re having an absolute blast.
Out of nowhere, a table of 15 people roar, hands flailing in the air — many stand up and everyone’s looking in our direction.
“We’re cool, but not that cool…”, I thought — wondering what this could be.
We both turn around and there’s a tiny, low definition television playing a March Madness basketball game, you know — where 19 year olds are playing out their dreams.
We glance for a second, shrug — and go back to our conversation.
To me, this was a fantastic sign of having a deeper connection and a mindset alignment with someone but it also taught me a valuable lesson on purpose.
It was shocking to me how much energy was created in that moment towards a 19 year old kid living out his dream thousands of miles away.
Breaking Free From The Matrix
This post may sound like it’s coming from judgement, but it’s not.
See, like many others, I used to live the life above — spending countless hours consuming information with stuff that really didn’t fucking matter.
I’m not saying there’s anything inherently wrong with sports, hell, I’ve learned some amazing lessons from athletes as I grew up about work ethic, passion and being a pro.
But if you ask yourself the question others aren’t willing to, such as:
Is consuming this information serving me, i.e. getting me closer to what I want or not serving me, i.e. getting me furtheraway to what I want?
If you answer truthfully and the answer is no, then you’ve got to make a decision.
We talk a lot about the nutrition we fuel our bodies with but rarely mention the information that you know, shapes our brains.
It’s no surprise that we live in a culture based on fear — because even if we’re not consciously consuming it, this information is rewiring our brains to operate from that place.
It begins with a choice of understanding that you can create a new reality for yourself right now — this moment.
Here are 3 powerful practical exercises that can move you towards your deeper purpose and help you live a more inspired life on a daily basis.
Create a vision and visualize every last detail.
Wake up 10 years from now in 2026 and imagine you’ve achieved your wildest dreams, don’t hold back. Imagine what it’s like to wake up in this place, who you’re with, what you’re thinking and doing and the environment that surrounds you. Write everything down that comes to mind without judgement or feelings of “I can’t do that…”
Write a letter to yourself.
Write yourself a letter from the place above. Imagine telling the you right now all the lessons, experiences, opportunities, hardships that you encountered along the way and how fulfilling it feels to have lived your vision out loud.
Take one tiny step, and then another.
Every single day, take one action that moves you closer to the above. If you’ve crafted a vision (which puts you in the 5%) then you have a dot on the map you can move towards, which is 100x more powerful than winging it and all it takes is one step to build massive amounts of momentum.
The 30 Day Challenge
I’ll admit it, the above isn’t easy.
It wasn’t until I was moving apartments that I looked at my TV on the ground and thought to myself…
Should I even hang that up?
I didn’t — and the next 9 months were the most immersive, rewarding and chock full of learning that I had ever experienced.
So, if you’re ready — I urge you to take the 30 day challenge which entails no TV for 30 days.
It’s going to be hard at first but once you go a week without and see who you’re becoming — you’ll never look back.