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How to Hire a Coach, Mentor or Program Pt. III

By | Advice, Entrepreneurship
Reading Time: 9 minutes

How to Hire a Coach, Mentor or Program Pt. III

This is a continuation of a series around How To Hire a Coach, Mentor or Program. If you missed Part I, go here and for Part II, click here.

YOU HIRED A COACH, NOW SUCCESS IS YOURS…RIGHT?

You did it.

You put your dreams on the line and chose to stack the chips and go all in by hiring a coach, mentor or program.

The first time you do this is special —and the transformative energy of writing your dreams a check is palpable.

Right before this moment, there’s fear, doubts and really wondering what the hell you’re doing. But the moment you finish writing the check or paying the invoice —a tsunami of emotions comes through you and you realize what you’ve gone:

You’ve gotten off the sidelines of life where 95% of people are.

You are in the game, you’re not only dreaming big…but acting big. Make no mistake: this is huge, and you should be proud of yourself.

And now it’s only a matter of time before you’re making it rain with stacks of cash in your bank, fueled by purpose and commitment like never before, right?

Possibly, but not always. During Part III, I really wanted to peel back the curtains and give you an inside look at how to maximize your experience.

Because while everything we’ve covered to this point is powerful —not every coaching experience comes with 100% success rate. This may seem obvious, but even with the best experiences that come with proven results, there are people who don’t get out of their own way.

They may have paid, but they stay comfortable.
They may have committed, but they don’t follow through.
They may have made a bold decision once, but don’t repeat those.

For myself, I’ve been part of nearly every type of experience imaginable —including masterminds, virtual programs, one day seminars, 7 day seminars, online courses, Facebook groups, etc. I’ve also run nearly of these and leading people on the other side through my own work.

It’s time to discover how to make your coaching experience an undeniable success by reviewing the rules of engagement I use with my clients. Before any experience, I share this and have each client commit to them, and now they’re yours, too.

Let’s dig in.

tommy baker coaching

Rule #1: Drop The Ego

The number one obstacle in the way of your growth, my growth and everyone else’s is simple: our egos. This isn’t debatable, it’s reality.

Because your ego wants to keep you small. It wants to keep you exactly where you are today. It wants to ensure every part of itself stays in tact, and it doesn’t want to let go.

Letting go to the ego is a form of death —and it can and will do anything to avoid this vulnerable state.

Because I’ve seen people pay tens of thousands of dollars, declare how bad they want or need a program or coach —and then let the ego win. We are not dealing with something simple here: the ego is creative, relentless and stubborn.

So, how do you actually drop the ego?

First, it starts with being aware. If you picked the right coaching experience —you’re going to be challenged and pushed to your edge. Simply signing up means you’re asking for help, which the ego already hates. But during your experience, the ego will look for ways to:

Prove you’re right.
Talk you out of big decisions.
Make excuses to let you off the hook.

Remember: each of these are designed to keep you exactly where you are —and you must be hyper aware of this in real time.

Secondly, you have to keep your eyes on the prize and remember why you started in the first place. Because the ego thrives on the short term, you must remember your North Star vision and deep rooted ‘why.’ Without this, it becomes easy to listen to the voices of the ego and start to believe its false narratives.

Lastly, when your ego is being challenged and you feel emotionally triggered —see this as growth in real time. This is not bad, it’s not a time to quit…it’s a time to lean in to the discomfort and find the gift on the other side.

ACTION: Dropping the ego is not a one time decision. On the path of your growth —it’s a daily one.

Rule #2: Trust the Process

NOTE: This is a small excerpt from my new book, The Leap Of Your Life which is available for early pre-order on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other retailers.

“I don’t know if I can keep going, man. This is hard.”

I’m sitting three fourths of the way of from my favorite hike in Phoenix, one I’ve done 117 times in less than 3 years. My client flew in from Los Angeles for a one day intensive to create a game-plan for every part of his business and life.

But I don’t start in a conference room at my office, we’re on the mountain and it’s a brisk 103 degrees. It’s July. Steve is 44 years old. He made $200,000 in personal income last year. He’s got 3 kids. And he’s here with me in the sweltering heat, carrying an enormous rock on his shoulders. It hurts. And oh yeah, he paid me to do this.

“You’re focusing on the pain, and that’s why it hurts. Start identifying what the rock means to you, and why you’re carrying it. Let’s go, you’re playing small.”

And the path continues. He grimaces every step of the way. The rock is uncomfortable by design: no matter how one carries it, it restricts breathing. The mountain is hard enough, the rock makes it harsher. This is part of how I help clients experience radical clarity, leading to transformation and results.

Rule number two is about one thing and one thing only: trusting the process of your coaching, mentoring or program experience. It’s about knowing someone else is in charge and has your best interests in mind —and being okay with this.

One of the biggest downfalls of your coaching experience will come with not trusting the short term process. For myself and my clients —I prepare deeply and intensely, creating all types of ways to help them achieve clarity and step into their power.

If they didn’t trust the process, they wouldn’t be standing in the middle of a mountain as I pushed them —holding a rock. They wouldn’t persist in the middle of a coaching session where we’re digging into an anchor from the past that has now become an excuse.

If you can’t trust the process, you can’t expect results.

ACTION: Trusting the process means trusting yourself. Stay present and understand your coach or mentor knows what they’re doing and why.

If you can’t trust the process, you can’t expect results.

tommy baker coaching

Rule #3: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

The third rule to maximize your success with your coaching experience is to get comfortable being uncomfortable. I know this sounds obvious —but it amazes me how many people will commit to something and then not be willing to get uncomfortable.

All four types of coaching experiences will require you to get uncomfortable in a variety of ways. For example:

The informational coaching experience will require you to cross the threshold from “thinking” to doing.

The motivational coaching experience will have you drop your addiction to low emotional states and tap into your peak energy and vitality.

The inspirational coaching experience will have you get rid of the armor, the convenient layers you’ve created and are using as anchors —to remember who you really are.

Lastly, the transformational coaching experience will be a mix of all of the above and will take you to some dark caves —plunging you into the depths of who you are to bring you back as the most powerful, grounded and purposeful self.

If your coaching experience is making you at least slightly uncomfortable, something is missing. To achieve a result you don’t currently have is going to require you to shed old beliefs, ways of operating, habits, rituals and mindsets. Part of this, naturally —means discomfort.

ACTION: Be willing to get uncomfortable and see this for what it represents: your growth, and ultimately results.

Rule #4: Be Radically Honest

There was a time in my life where I needed to get out. I needed to leave my environment, and I’d built a business I now hated. I felt alone, disconnected and started to resent myself for not taking action.

But there was one core reason all of these feelings were bottled up: I wasn’t getting radically honest. No one knew about my predicament, because I chose to hide it.

Being a positive and energetic person —I chose to keep it to myself.

Until I no longer could, and I remember being on a mastermind call and declaring all of the above. My initial expectation was for people to laugh at me and mock me —and of course, that didn’t happen.

They agreed with me and validated my feelings.

Whew.

I let out the biggest exhale ever —and remembered the power of sharing our truth.

Your coaching experience will demand you get radically honest if you want to achieve your biggest breakthroughs. It sounds obvious, but we’re so skilled at building facades with ourselves —it can be a massive challenge to even know what to get honest about.

So, what do you need to be radically honest about?

Where you find yourself today. Your level of fulfillment in all areas of life. What’s not working and how it makes you feel. What you really want to be doing, and why.

Without this crucial piece, you’ll miss out on life-changing breakthroughs, insights and results.

ACTION: Before you start your experience, put all of your deeper truths on paper. Journal why you’re really in the program, and get radically honest.

 Rule #5: No Weak Language

“Maybe.”
“I’ll try.”
“I guess.”
“We’ll see.”

No, not here. The last and final rule of my coaching experiences (and ones you should adopt no matter who you choose to work with) is simply no weak language.

Weak language allows for excuses to come in, ensure you play small and can kill an otherwise transformative experience.

Here’s why this matters: our language provides a behind-the-scenes look at our closely held beliefs, and even more importantly —the level of belief and self trust we have with ourselves.

In my programs, we have a rule where we’re allowed to interrupt anyone at anytime (including me, of course) when they’re using weak or half hearted language.

One of the amazing things that happen when you become aware of your own weak language is how much you see it in other people. You overhear a conversation at your local Starbucks —and you’ll be amazed at how often we use these words that don’t mean anything.

Not here. Instead, when you speak —own it and declare it with everything you’ve got. Be willing to put yourself on the line.

ACTION: Eradicate all weak language, and start catching yourself in the process. Ask others to call you out, too.

tommy baker 1% rule

So, What Are You Waiting For?

We’ve come a long way. I wanted to create this resource, which is nearly 6,000 words —to help you step into a coaching or mentoring experience for one reason and one reason only:

They can, and they will —change every part of your life.

Sure, I’m biased, but I can say with definitive clarity that I would not be where I am today if I had not made that bold decision to go all in on myself.

My story is definitely extreme, but it’s what I needed at the time. Because if I don’t make that bold choice, I don’t have a $55,000 day in business, I don’t move cross country when I knew I needed to, I don’t meet my soul mate and I may be living a completely different life.

So as we finish this experience together, all I have is one question for you:

What are you waiting for? 

I’m often having conversations with people who know it’s time, and yet don’t take action. Each day they put it off —they begin to lose a fraction of their belief and energy to create something new. Until one day, it’s gone for good.

How to Hire a Coach, Mentor or Program Pt. III

I’ll be adding a special Part IV bonus section to this piece, and will link it here once it’s out. But for now, you have all you need.

To go back to Part I, click here. To review Part II, click here. And of course, if you’re wanting to work together in some capacity, let me know.

As of January 2019, these are the experiences I offer:

3P Experience. This is for you if you’re making less than $100K, control your financial destiny (i.e. entrepreneur, solopreneur or wanting to be one) and need to deepen your purpose, power and profit.

Breakthrough Mastermind. The Mastermind is for those making at least $200K and are at a ‘comfortable’ level but leaving so much on the table. You’re wanting to get to the next level and 5X every area of your life.

Private Coaching / Intensive. The last one is a fully customized experience where you come to Scottsdale, AZ and spend a day with me and/or enroll in a 100 day private coaching experience with me.

Fill out an application here, or simply email me at tommy@resistaverageacademy.com and we’ll take it from there.

I’d love to hear from you in comments, especially if you have any questions.

tommy baker 1% rule

How to Hire a Coach, Mentor or Program Pt. II

By | Advice
Reading Time: 8 minutes

How to Hire a Coach, Mentor or Program Pt. II

Note: this is a continuation of a series —to read Part I, click here.

THE BEST TIME TO HIRE A COACH WAS YESTERDAY

“I’m interested, but I’m going to wait until life slows down a little.”
“I want to make it happen, but it’s not the right time.”
“I can’t afford it right now, but soon enough I will.”

Facepalm.

(With respect, of course.)

So often, people get the spark of clarity where they know they must hire a coach, mentor or program.

And yet they wait, and put it off. What started as a wildfire of epic clarity is now wrapped up in logic, fear and rationalization to commit at some point in the future.

I want to make this clear: there is no perfect time to hire a coach, mentor or program. You make the time perfect when you make a committed decision and go all in.

That’s it. What I’ve found is selling coaching and transformation is kind of like skydiving: everyone needs to experience it, and yet jumping out of a perfectly working aircraft at 15,000 feet can always be put off for another day.

There are several psychological reasons for this, but here’s what I believe is at the core of the issue:

Because people have often failed when setting goals before, hiring a coach is stepping up to the plate and really putting themselves on the line.

And I know for my programs, the number one objection isn’t money (even if people tell me it is.) It’s not whether they know, like and trust me. It’s not the process of how I’m going to work with them. It’s one thing and one thing only:

Lack of trust and faith in their ability to follow through.

But in order to trust ourselves, we must know why we’re hiring a coach or program in the first place.

WHY ARE YOU HIRING A COACH?

Why are you here?

I asked him, piercing his eyes through a deep eye contact to get one thing and one thing only: the truth. We’d been in the same spot for 17 minutes, and I needed a real answer.

Your first step to get clear on when hiring a coach, mentor or program is knowing your why. Specifically:

Why are you hiring a coach?
What compelled you to want to?
Why is now the right time to do so?
What is the cost of not doing it?
What specifically do you want?

Most people haven’t taken the time to get honest and identify why they’re hiring a coach, and end up surprised when they join the cheapest program they can find and don’t see much results.

Often, before I enter a conversation to see if someone is fit for one of my programs —I’ll have them apply so they can get their why on paper. And there’s either two people:

One, the person who says the generic, Hallmark-card style things such as:

“I want to feel happier.”
“I want to get unstuck.”
“I want to fulfill my potential.”

These sound fun, but they don’t mean anything. They’re fluff, and this camp is usually lacking radical honesty: truly shutting off the noise in life and taking an honest assessment of what’s happening and why it’s affecting them greatly.

(Insider’s secret: most people aren’t willing to get honest about their current position and the frustration and pain it’s causing them. Many coaches also skip over this, because it isn’t always fun or sexy. But if we don’t get clear on today’s pressing issue, we lose the power of urgency and a do-it-now mentality.)

The second camp is long past the world of fluff, and they’re deep in the chaos. Meaning, things are not working and they need a life raft…now. They’re incredibly honest and clear, because they’re on the brink of a breakdown or in the middle of one.

While it’s never too late, I hope you have the foresight to seek help before the breakdown happens. Take time to identify your why and be clear. Be willing to let it all out, you deserve it.

NOTE: This is not a time to berate yourself on why you can’t get things right. This is a time to do what I call taking inventory —which is incredibly empowering.

Once you’re clear, it’s time to understand there’s different coaches, including: informational, motivational, inspirational and transformational.

THE INFORMATIONAL COACH

All coaches are the same, right? Wrong. Although often we’re all lumped into the same category, Lisa Nichols really helped me differentiate between the types of coaches, and we’ll use her framework here.

The first type of coach, mentor or program is informational. This is like it sounds: you’re investing in their information, and it usually leads to a predictable result.

Here are some examples of informational coaches or programs:

A program that teaches you how to start and launch a podcast.
The coach who teaches you how to improve your Facebook ads.
The mentor who helps you in your real estate business to flip homes.

The markers of an informational coach are simple:

There’s usually a systemized path from Point A to Point B
The main selling point is closing the gap above through information
There is usually a very tangible end result part of the process
The area of expertise is usually very specific and niched down

So, who may want to hire an informational coach? I’ve hired plenty of these, and while they are the least transformative —they help you and I get clear by leveraging their experience and expertise.

For example, I’ve hired informational coaches and programs to help with my writing, the podcast, copywriting and much more.

Here are some of the benefits of working with an informational coach:

They get you from Point A to Point B quite easily.
They are very specific in the results they can get you.
The timeframe to completion tends to be shorter than most.

What are some of the drawbacks?

The coaching relationship is largely transactional.
They don’t deal with the most common blocks in the way (the deeper stuff, such as your mindset and beliefs.)
It’s more up to you (it’s always up to you, but in this case even more so) to turn their information into powerful results.

What the informational coach does best is codify and streamline information to you in a way that’s easy to implement and execute on. They hold you accountable (usually loosely) and help you accomplish a hyper specific result.

THE MOTIVATIONAL COACH

So we’ve dug into the informational coach, now it’s time to tackle the motivational coach. As they sound, a motivational coach does one thing incredibly well: they amp you up.

These are the coaches who are fired up and help you get excited, passionate and energetically engaged in your life and goals. The purpose of the motivational coach is to light a fire in your life —helping you reclaim some long lost energy and enthusiasm.

The nuances of a motivational coach are several, and it can hard to describe all of them —but a motivational coach can have a core focus of your business, your career, or a general scope of your life.

What they do best is give you the spark you used to have back, and usually create a plan of action from the emotional state you’ve experienced.

Here are some of the benefits of working with an motivational coach:

They fire you up and get you inspired and excited.
They tap into your passion(s) —and release what’s in the way.
They’re exciting to be around and their energy can be felt from miles away.

What are some of the drawbacks?

Sometimes, motivation isn’t enough —it’s a great starting point, but what happens after?
The coaching relationship is mostly about improving your emotional states, to help you use this energy wisely.
If there’s big mindset blocks, motivation can create surface area results but they can look and feel temporary.

There was a point in my life where I really needed motivation. (I know, can you believe it?) But once I was able to motivate myself, I no longer needed to be amped up. I needed something deeper, which is what the last two types of coaches are all about.

THE INSPIRATIONAL COACH

The third type of coach often gets put in the same category as the motivational coach: the inspirational coach. While both can seem similar, to those who have experienced both —they’re not.

An inspirational coach taps into a deep part of you —pulling at your emotions and help you get grounded and committed from within. Here’s the way I explain it:

Motivation is external, while inspiration comes from within. So, an inspirational coach will help you do the inner work to get you to a place of extreme clarity and personal power.

This is the person who doesn’t rile you up energetically, but instead moves you emotionally. They connect you to what matters to you, and deepens your level of living a purposeful life. They can often make you emotional, and use these emotions as leverage to create something special.

Sometimes that can be to create a powerful vision, remember what matters and compel you to not leave this place without sharing your deepest gifts with the world.

There’s no doubt an inspirational coach can be hard to describe —and there’s certainly overlap between the motivational coach.

Here are some of the benefits of working with an inspirational coach:

They help you tap into a deeper why within.
They get you emotionally invested in your life again.
They give you a sense of inner power back.

What are some of the drawbacks?

An inspirational coach usually won’t have a blueprint for you, they’re about the inner game. You can expect most of your sessions to be about removing blocks in the way of your belief, clarity and identity. What happens next is usually up to you.

Remember, they’re not here to rile you up —they’re here to give you your personal power back. From this place, you don’t usually need motivation, because you’re deeply grounded in purpose and are in tune with your why and burning desire.

THE TRANSFORMATIONAL COACH

We’ve gone deep on the types of coaches so far, and we’re up to the last one: the transformational coach. The way I describe this type of coach is the following:

They incorporate all of the above but are not afraid to go to the dark places to let a part of you die —so you can create from a new place.

Again, for those who have never worked with anyone professionally, this may seem like pie-in-the-sky talk, but stay with me:

A transformational coach will push you, challenge you and spend most of their time taking you to your edge.

This is the most intense type of coaching, and truly isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes tremendous skill on the part of the coach —with an ability to hold space with compassion and leveraging their intuition to truly take you to the next level.

Finding a fantastic transformational coach is not easy, and is not for the dabblers. You’re either all in, or you’re completely out.

Here are some of the benefits of working with an transformational coach:

They literally transform you, and create the space to let a part of yourself go.
They push you to your edge, and encompass the other types of coaching along the way.
They create the highest probability and potential for long term change and results in your life.

What are some of the drawbacks?

Some of the drawbacks in hiring a transformational coach are that they’re not for everyone. Meaning, you really have to be ready —because they don’t always focus on the pretty parts of your life.

They push you, challenge you and help you rise above. For me personally, as I consider myself a transformational coach —I’ve had clients come to me who weren’t ready for real transformation (and that’s okay, too.)

How to Hire a Coach, Mentor or Program Pt. II

So, there you have it. Remember: the types of coaches above can cross boundaries —and may often be more than one type of coach.

But it’s important to recognize what you’re looking for, for example:

Do you simply want someone to compile and simplify information?

Do you need someone to energize you and get you excited about life again?

Do you want to do some deep inner work and remember why you’re here?

Do you want to radically transform your life and go to uncomfortable places to begin from a new place?

Each one of these are a different experience.

During Part III, I’m going to deep dive into how to make your coaching experience successful, and never look back.

If you have any questions, please post to comments and I’ll address them as we go on.

The 5 Myths Of Clarity (Holding You Back)

By | Advice, Entrepreneurship
Reading Time: 4 minutes

The 5 Myths Of Clarity (Holding You Back)

I found myself in yet another conversation with someone about what they’re being held back by, and they told me in desperation:

“Tommy…if I only knew what to doI’d be on fire and making all my dreams come true.”

And while it sounded great on paper, I told them the truth:

“That’s a brilliant excuse, one I’ve used personally —but it’s not true.”

In the personal development, growth, and seven-easy-steps-to-success world, I’m noticing an unhealthy obsession and reliance on clarity.

And I understand I speak of clarity all the time too —on the Resist Average Academy podcast, my books and endless social media posts.

But I’m tired of people using lack of clarity as an excuse to not get started and to sit on the sidelines.

I’ve compiled these myths into what I call the 5 Myths Of Clarity most people use as a convenient excuse to stay stuck…

….and not do the tough and messy work required to face themselves every day and move their life and business forward.

Don’t let these hold you back from creating incredible results this year and in 2019.

Let’s dig in and release them once and for all.

Myth 1: Clarity Is a Destination

The number one clarity myth is the belief that clarity is an end-all, be-all destination. This couldn’t be further from the truth, and yet it’s so common to believe.

Because believing this myth places tremendous pressure on achieving clarity —and people will spend years or decades searching for it.

They may spend time in Himalayan ashrams, or be on an endless loop of information binging their favorite personal development guru and still never find it.

Why?

Because clarity is a process and evolution based on your growth.

Your clarity and mine will change based on who we are today, tomorrow and during the rest of our experience in this game called life.

Release the pressure, and instead —fall in love with the daily pursuit of clarity. Understand clarity increases with capacity, meaning you’ll achieve more clarity as you grow and experience results in life.

(This is why the homeless person on the street doesn’t create vision boards —the clarity they need is how to get their next sandwich.)

Myth 2: Clarity Is Needed to Get Started

“Once I know what to do, I’ll start.”

“I need some more information and planning.”

“Next year once I have my certification, I’ll launch.”

While some clarity is important to start —most people think they need all the answers today. Again, this keeps countless people on the sidelines of life and business, waiting for clarity to get started.

This becomes an endless cycle of wanting to start, getting overwhelmed and then repeating the pattern over and over until you give up.

Here’s the deal: while some clarity is important to get started, it’s overrated.

Because when you execute, you’ll find much more clarity than you ever would thinking and pondering for 6 months.

Myth 3: You Need Clarity On The “How”

I wrote about this deeply in The 1% Rule, and I said the “how” is where dreams go to die.

So often, I’ll be in a client session or having a conversation with someone and I notice how inspired they get about their vision (the what) and their purpose behind doing it (the why.)

But then, I slowly see their body language start to change —and that’s when I know they’re thinking about the gap.

The gap, or the “how” —is connecting the dots between the vision and the messy middle.

But contrary to what most people believe, you don’t need to have clarity around the “how.”

Because when you’re crystal clear on the what, and the why —the how starts to reveal itself.

The only clarity you need is on your first few steps to get started. I’m literally talking about those first 3 action steps you can do this week, and the following 3 you can do the week after.

Everything else becomes a chance to be riddled with fear.

Myth 4: No Such Thing as Having Too Much Clarity

For some people, having too much clarity can actually create so much pressure —they do nothing.

I know, I know…it sounds weird and you’re probably thinking:

“What!? How can too much clarity be a bad thing?”

Let me explain with a personal example. Once every 6 months, I sit back and nerd out with a marker in hand —and put my entire business and life on a massive whiteboard.

(I do this with my clients, too.)

This past year when I completed it —I took a step back and thought to myself:

“Wow….this is amazing. But if you showed me this a year ago, I’d be overwhelmed.”

The lesson is simple: while clarity can be amazing, too much can send people into paralysis by analysis or complete and total shutdown.

Furthermore, as we mentioned above —this constant pursuit of clarity can become an avoidance mechanism for doing what really matters: getting started.

Myth 5: Clarity Guarantees Massive Results

Once you have clarity in life and business —you’re going to make it rain, Oprah’s going to be calling your cell phone and you’ll be on TV, right?

Good luck with that.

While clarity can be a powerful pre-cursor to massive results, it doesn’t guarantee anything.

The truth is lots of people have clarity that they’re on the path to lung cancer if they keep smoking and yet choose to do nothing.

It is my belief most people know what to do next, yet are riddled by fear and lack the courage to take the next step in their lives.

So, remember: clarity is a launchpad, but it’s what you do after that determines your (real) success.

Now, What?

So, there you have it —I wanted to share these with you in the hopes you don’t get stuck thinking you need all the clarity in the world.

These are some of the most common themes I see holding people back from actually having clarity, and most importantly:

Doing something with that clarity—what I call integration.

(This is why I created The Integration Experience audio training, which you can download for free on the front page of the site.)

As we wrap up another year, take the time and energy to get clear —but don’t let yourself fall into one of these myths and instead use your clarity to integrate every area of your life for 2019.

I’d love to hear from you on these myths of clarity in comments and if you have anything to add or share, post below and share please!

How to Hire a Coach, Mentor or Program Pt. I

By | Advice
Reading Time: 8 minutes

How To Hire a Coach, Mentor Or Program (Part I)

I sat there with my head coming up with hundreds of reasons not to do it.

I don’t have the money.
I haven’t paid rent this month.
I’m barely making ends meet now.

It was a winner-takes-all tug of war between my head and my heart, between intuition and logic and between a do-it-now mentality or a sit back and wait.

And yet, I was sitting there and committing to investing in a coaching program to the tune of $20,000. At the time, this number seemed so large it may as well been referring to Japanese yen.

(It’s one of those times where you can’t quite grasp the number, as it doesn’t fit your current model of reality.)

But it felt right, and my heart knew this would be a transformative moment in my life. A defining one —one where I was leaving the ordinary world behind in Campbell’s Hero’s Journey.

But I was still terrified.

how to hire a coach

SO, WHAT IS COACHING AND WHO IS IT FOR?

If we’re going to spend some time together on the topic of how to hire a coach —it’s imperative we define what coaching is, who it’s for, how it differs from therapy, and breakthrough the common myths.

So, who is coaching for and how do you know it’s for you?

Simple: coaching is about increasing your performance in life, business, relationships, and/or your spiritual life.

Specifically, a coaching experience is about:

Helping identify the blind spots you and I can’t see
Creating an energetic container to achieve breakthrough
Helping release blocks and mindset patterns in the way
Developing confidence and capability in any area of life

Coaching is about increasing your performance in life, business, relationships, and/or your spiritual life.

Furthermore, a great coaching experience allows you to collapse the time it takes to achieve results —leaning on the coaches experience and expertise to help you be more efficient.

Lastly, coaching is about perspective. Often, we get caught up in the way we see the world and the challenges we face —coaching opens this world up and allows us to look at things differently.

So if you’re:

Wanting to level up a specific area of your life
Tired of repeating the same patterns and results
Wanting to achieve certain results in much less time

…then coaching is definitely for you.

The truth is: coaching is for everyone —most people simply either aren’t willing to ask for help or committed enough in themselves and their dreams to make it happen.

Before we get rocking, let’s explore the difference between coaching and therapy to ensure you don’t make a mistake for your specific needs.

COACHING OR THERAPY?

With so many available options, I must make this point to ensure you make the best decision as I’m often asked:

How do I know if I need a therapist or a coach?

Simple: therapy is about healing the past, while coaching is improving performance today and in the future.

Notice the difference?

So if you’re dealing with emotional trauma, abuse, hurt, pain, divorce —see a therapist. The truth is, we all have some emotional trauma and seeing a therapist can benefit us all.

But there’s a stark difference between the two. I’ve experienced this first hand in my coaching career, where I took on clients that truly should have seen therapists.

It didn’t end well. I wasn’t qualified, and we were both frustrated that despite using techniques showing results in thousands of people —they still couldn’t get out of their own way.

Trauma is trauma, and even today in my coaching sessions I can help identify issues in the past, but refer people to others who spend their time there.

Now that we’ve defined who coaching is for, let’s identify the common myths in the world of coaching.

MYTH 1: THERE IS A RIGHT TIME TO HIRE A COACH

“I’m all in, but I’ll start next quarter when life is less busy.
“I’m ready, but let’s start in a few months so I’m ready.
“I’m interested, but I need some time to make more money.

Facepalm.

These are common excuses I hear from people who let themselves off the hook to not hire a coach, mentor or program. This brings us to the first myth: there is a perfect time to hire a coach.

The truth is: most people wait way too long to make the bold decision —because hiring a coach means your dreams are on the line and there’s nowhere to run, hide or escape.

Hiring a coach takes courage and is not always easy.

When I plunked down $20,000 in the story above —it was both a powerful moment and one of the hardest moments of courage I’d ever experienced.

In the face of this, waiting seems like a great idea.

But here’s the problem: waiting never works out, and if you feel pulled today —do whatever you can to act on it. Because as time passes, your enthusiasm for your dreams will start to fade until you wake up one day and it’s gone.

coaching tommy baker

MYTH 2: AS YOU SUCCEED, YOU DON’T NEED A COACH

Once you experience success, you’ll need less coaching —right?

Wrong. In reading Andre Agassi’s astounding biography, Open, it was incredible to see at the peak of his career how much coaching he was surrounded by.

Or simply look at an A-level actor or athlete —as they progress in their career, their support system increases, not decreases.

Look at an NFL Quarterback who is in the fraction of a smaller fraction of elite performers: they have a Quarterbacks coach, a Head Coach, countless trainers and specialists and usually mindset and performance coaches.

Why? Because as we grow and expand, our blind spots because more costly. Furthermore, there are usually fewer people around us who can see the nuances we’re missing…and this becomes priceless.

Now, does that mean you’ll always have a coach? For me, the answer is yes, but you can have periods of downtime as you evolve and grow.

As we grow and expand, our blind spots become more costly.

MYTH 3: ALL COACHES ARE THE SAME

We’ll cover this in Part II, but often people will lump coaches into one category —and think they’re all the same.

This is how you end up in a coaching experience or program that’s out of alignment. We’re going to break down the four types of coaches (informational, motivational, inspirational, and transformational) soon — but it’s important to get specific about what you really need.

Making matters more complex is the following: what you believe you need and what you really need aren’t always the same.

This is where getting honest about where you’re at is crucial to maximize your success in any experience.

MYTH 4: ONCE YOU HIRE A COACH, RESULTS ARE GUARANTEED

You did it. You swiped the card, paid the investment and now you’re going to make it rain, right? Not quite. While investing in yourself and hiring a coach is a great first step…

It’s still only a first step. Often, I’ll see people join a program and expect everything to change overnight.

It doesn’t work this way. Hiring a coach means now it’s time to do the serious work, and put yourself on the line by radically shifting your mindset and behavior.

Predictably, this is uncomfortable. Yet, it’s required to endure long lasting results and making sure you maximize the coaching experience.

(Insider’s secret: even the best coaches and programs have people who joined and did nothing. This is not a testament to them, it’s simply human behavior in action.)

MYTH 5: COACHES ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS

The whole point of hiring a coach, mentor or program is to have them tell you all the answers, right? Not always. Great coaches, in my experience —do have a wealth of knowledge to share with the world.

And yet, a brilliant coach doesn’t simply give you the answers. He or she creates an energetic container designed to ask powerful questions where you come up with the answers.

This creates a deep trust and self confidence lasting much longer than any coaching experience —which is what I am to do with my clients. Once my clients have hired me, I love working with them again —but I also know they’re much more equipped because I didn’t provide them with all the answers.

On top of this, it’s important to note that coaches won’t do the work for you.

A coach can’t do your daily morning routine.
A coach can’t force you to sit down and focus.
A coach can’t hold your hand during a sales process.

What I mean by this is simple: it’s up to you, and you wouldn’t want it any other way. Be wary of a coach who tried to do too much —they may not be confident in their ability to deliver.

Now, let’s examine why hiring a coach can and will change your life.

WHY HIRING A COACH WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

I had never put myself on the line the way I did, and none of the countless books, YouTube videos or affirmations could light a candle to the feeling when I committed.

It was the bold leap that changed my life like nothing I’d ever experienced before.

Without knowing how I was going to do it, I stepped into truly believing in myself and my dreams at the time.

We can all say we truly believe, but where we place our most valued resources tells a deeper story:

Where we invest our time.
Where we invest our focus.
Where we invest our energy.
Where we invest our money.

That moment for me was defining. Just 4.5 weeks later, I launched a brand new offering in my fitness business at the time and collected $55,000.

In one day.

This is what coaching does: it makes what we believe to be impossible, now possible. Because if you’d told me I was going to bring in $55,000 in one day, I’d say you were out of your mind.

But here’s the truth:

Without investing in myself, I don’t allow myself to experience the uncomfortable (and yet, incredible) possibility of bringing in the revenue for my business.

Coaching makes us believe what’s impossible…is now possible.

HOW TO HIRE A COACH, MENTOR OR PROGRAM

During this series, How To Hire a Coach, Mentor Or Program —we’re going to deep dive into the art and science of making a committed decision. The coaching industry has exploded to the tune of over $1 Billion per year and growing.

Consider this the introduction and Part I, and here’s what to expect with the rest of the series.

(Note: I’ll update the links as these are published.)

In Part II,  we’re going to reveal the different types of coaches —including informational, motivational, inspirational and transformational. I’ll share the key distinctions and how to ensure you get what you’re looking for when making a decision.

In Part III, I’m going to go deep on the common excuses holding most people back from getting started —and why these keep 99% of people spinning their wheels.

In Part IV, I’m going to share how to maximize your experience and have the highest probability of success. This includes both leading coaching experiences and being part of them —with what it will truly take to succeed.

Along the way, I’ll be sharing best practices, insider secrets, and so much more.

The mission of this series is to educate, inform and empower you to make a bold decision.

Make no mistake: hiring a coach is not for the faint of heart, but if you do it right —there may be nothing as transformative.

I’m biased, of course, but coaching has shifted every part of my life and I would not be experiencing the life I am today without its incredible power.

And I want you to experience the same.

Any questions so far? Stay tuned for the next parts of this series.

The Best Self Development, Business and Personal Growth Books of 2018

By | Advice, Entrepreneurship, Writing
Reading Time: 12 minutes

The Best Self Development, Business and Personal Growth Books of 2018

Ahhhhh, the nerd inside me loves nothing more than to shut off the world and go deep into books. If you’ve ever followed my Instagram, you’d know I’m a little obsessive.

Okay, totally obsessive is more like it. Here’s why:

The knowledge, wisdom and reflective aspect of reading has transformed my life — and Barnes and Noble is my version of a delicious slice of heaven.

At the end of every year, I like to reflect and think back to the books I read and how they impacted me. On any given year, I’ll read between 50-100 books —depending on what I’m working on and which season of my life and business I may be in.

In other words, I read quite a lot. By the way, remember the 10 pages a day rule: if you read ten pages every single day, you’ll read around 12-20 books per year.

Start small, and watch what happens.

According to the Washington Post, only 19 percent of adults read for leisure these days. One of the best parts about reading books is what you don’t do when you make the decision to read: less television, social media and distraction.

So, what were my favorite books of 2018? This is a personal list I choose to share with you, and is not based on anything except my level of learning, enjoyment and connection to the material. This is not a list about literary genius, and all of these works are non-fiction.

These are in no particular order, and few of these authors have been on the Academy podcast which I’ll link to under each section.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

21 Lessons For The 21st Century by Yuval Noah Harari

best books 2018What is happening in the world today?
Who can we trust for objective information?
Are things as bad as people say they are?

These are all questions I’ve asked, and been frustrated in trying to answer. Part of me wants to ignore it altogether, and the other part wants to dive deep and see how I can contribute to a solution. But awareness is always the first step.

Enter Professor Yuval Noah Harari —author of Sapiens and Homo Deus, two bestselling and thrilling books examining where we came from and where we’re going.

In 21 Lessons For The 21st Century, he deep dives into where we are today to paint a clear picture and how today’s choices will shift us going forward. I love this work, because it makes me think. It challenges me. Nothing is off the table here, including the dominance of Big Data, AI, Religion and the future of life and work.

If you’re someone who feels lost in finding objective sources of information and want at least some clarity about where we are (and how that may impact you) —don’t miss out on this one.

In a world divulged by irrelevant information, clarity is power – Yuval Noah Harari

READ THIS IF:

You want an objective view of what’s happening in today’s world and want to spend time thinking about the world’s greatest problems and opportunities.

The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi

best books 2018I heard Tucker Max speak glowingly of The Courage To Be Disliked on the James Altucher podcast, and I had to get it. The title alone grabbed me, and I realized this book had already been a sensation in Japan.

Told through a conversation between a young Man and a aged philosopher, it’s a refreshing format on the topics of change, transformation, courage, relationships and finding joy in life. It speaks about what gets in the way of our growth and how to navigate our lives.

The backbone of the book’s philosophy comes from Adlerian philosophy, which was something I’d never heard of. A colleague of Freud, Alfred Adler believed in developing oneself individually while balancing the holistic nature of a connected community.

Looking back, I’m realizing I need to read this again: it’s a deep read, but the way it’s told allows it to be a fast one. There’s a lot of wisdom within each sentence. It’s a philosophy mets self development type of book, and absolutely worth reading.

The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness. – Ichiro Kishimi

READ THIS IF:

You’re looking for a refreshing take on change, courage and navigating the complexities of life.

12 Rules For Life by Jordan Peterson

best books 2018

Jordan Peterson has become an online sensation —and for many, can be quite polarizing. While I’m not here to discuss the politics around him, there is no doubt he is smart, studied and produces great work that makes you think.

12 rules For Life is a blend of philosophy, history and advice strikes a chord for its simplicity and great examples to drive the point home. Chapter titles include “Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping” and “Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You Criticize the World”.

What I love about his work is how simple it truly is. However, as humans…we tend to complicate everything. Peterson’s advice that changing the world starts with cleaning our room may seem obvious, but is it really? I don’t think so: self-reliance is always the first step in authentic leadership. So many people want to change the world, but what about starting with the person in the mirror?

Strengthen the individual. Start with yourself. Take care with yourself. Define who you are. Refine your personality. Choose your destination and articulate your being. – Jordan Peterson

READ THIS IF:

You want a blend of life advice with philosophy, history and all types of examples told in a meaningful way.

The Third Door by Alex Banayan

best books 2018I was standing there in Barnes and Noble (which is kind of my second home to be honest) when I saw the Third Door. And then I couldn’t put it down. Alex Banayan, who’s been on the show —has an incredible story of taking chances and putting himself on the line.

This allowed him to meet Bill Gates, Lady Gaga, Steve Wozniak and countless others to distill the best advice on getting started with a career and a dream.

What caught me with this book was the powerful storytelling —combined with the raw enthusiasm jumping off the page. The premise is simple: in life, there are a few ways to operate:

One, we can do what everyone else does: waiting in line.
Two, we can be high rollers and VIP’s: we pay to skip the line.

But there’s also a third way: we can ditch the line altogether, reinvent the rules and play our own game to get what we want. This is the mindset of rebels, trailblazers and industry titans who chose to carve their own path, and The Third Door will inspire you to do the same.

If you actually want to make a difference in the world, if you want to live a life of inspiration, adventure, and wild success—you need to grab on to that exponential life—and hold on to it with all you’ve got. – Alex Banayan

READ THIS IF:

You’re wanting a page-turning adventure full of advice from some of the world’s best minds.

The Motivation Myth by Jeff Haden

best books 2018If we want to launch a business, we need more motivation — right?
If we want to make more money, we need more motivation — right?
If we want to thrive in relationships, we need more motivation — right?

Wrong. This myth holds so many people back as they “wait” to feel like doing something, and if they’re not motivated…

They quit. This is why I loved The Motivation Myth by Jeff Haden: we need more people who are dishing out the real advice around what it takes to succeed. Way too common is those who are relying on extrinsic motivation instead of choosing to create it every single day. Motivational videos are a dime a dozen, but can you execute on the days you want to stay in bed?

This core message is deeply in line with my work, and how I help people achieve results long term. Because if you think you always need motivation, you’ll miss out on the power of growing when you don’t feel like it.

The problem with waiting for motivation to strike is that it almost never comes with enough voltage to get you started. – Jeff Haden

READ THIS IF:

You’ve felt stuck relying on motivation to achieve your goals and dreams and need to get your power back.

Audience Of One by Srivinas Rao

best books 2018When we’re creating something —a message, our platform or any type of endeavor, we can get caught up in doing it for the wrong reasons. We can think we’re being selfless when we’re creating for others —but in Audience Of One, Srinivas Rao takes a different approach.

Using great stories of artists such as David Bowie, the book creates a compelling argument around creating for one person: ourselves. In other words, true creativity is found when we’re able to detach from others expectations and pour our heart and souls into the work.

One of the reasons I loved this book (along with his first one, How To Be Unmistakable) —the way the book is packaged and presented makes it an easy read.

The second half of the book acts like a “how to” on getting our creative work done in an ever distracted world. I was writing my next book when I read this and it helped me focus and re-center on what matters —and will do the same for you.

This includes great tips for focused work, using our environment and habits to shape our creativity and releasing the noise and pressure we so often put on ourselves.

We must learn to let go of our attachments and expectations if we’re going to derive satisfaction from our work and create art that we’re proud to put our signature on. – Srivinas Rao

READ THIS IF:

You’re feeling stuck creatively and spinning your wheels and/or can’t find the time to do the work you care about.

WILD Habits by Tara Mackey

best books 2018

Tara Mackey’s story is incredible: one of resilience, and overcoming adversity against all odds—including being put on 14 prescription drugs and choosing one day to quit.

Cold turkey.

Her podcast episode blew me away because of how she overcame a deeply troubling childhood to now inspire and empower women all over the world as a successful entrepreneur, author and CEO.

I’m always amazed at what people can create coming form having their back up against the wall. This is why I love bringing people on the Academy to dig into their stories, and show you it’s possible no matter what has happened.

Her second book, WILD Habits —is all about how to build this foundation for ourselves and step into who we really are. WILD stands for: willingness, intuition, love, and discipline.

In my coaching, I’ve found this acronym to be essential for not only achievement —but feeling inner freedom, peace and clarity. I especially love the inclusion of discipline which many people get wrong, to me it’s always been about not breaking promises to ourselves (and others.)

In short, your habits will determine the quality of your life, and if you and I can stack more powerful habits into our lives —the more likely we are to love our lives.

My habits used to get me in trouble, now my habits are building blocks that have shaped my life and helped me grow —responsible for every business achievement and my personal health and mental well being. – Tara Mackey

READ THIS IF:

You’re ready to get back to a place of deep alignment…and stop feeling stuck and like nothing is ever working.

The 1% Rule by Tommy Baker

best books 2018 tommy bakerWait, you’re going to promote your own book on this post!? Of course, because I believe in it. The 1% Rule was written for those who were tired of setting life-changing goals only to wake up a few weeks later with nothing to show for it but wasted enthusiasm.

Furthermore, I wanted to give people their power back. At the end of the day, the process is what makes you who you are, not the outcome. Any big outcome in life is momentary (and surprisingly anti-climatic.)

When you put something out into the world, you never know what’s going to happen. It’s been incredible to watch The 1% Rule impact so many people around the world and give them a blueprint to reverse engineer their success and believe in themselves and their dreams again.

When the what and the why are vivid, the how starts to reveal itself. – The 1% Rule

READ THIS IF:

You’re able to create a bold vision or goal(s) for your life —but lose all hope when you think of “HOW” to make those happen.

Atomic Habits by James Clear

When looking to change our behavior, we should stack a bunch of success habits on top of one another —right? Kind of. The problem with this approach is habit change takes time, and since our brains are wired for extreme efficiency —it becomes easy to revert back to normal.

best books 2018I consider Atomic Habits to be a more academic version of The 1% Rule, as we cover very similar topics. James Clear is a great writer and researcher who simplifies the complexities of behavioral change with topics such as making habits ridiculously easy, shifting your environment for success, and much more.

I loved the audio version of the book and finished it in a day. The book became a quick New York Times Bestseller, so that should tell you something.

What I love about it is the simplicity of say, tiny habits —why aiming to do 10 push-ups a day is better to create a fitness routine than starting CrossFit and doing 5 workouts a week.

You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. – James Clear

READ THIS IF:

You want to put most of your successful decisions on auto-pilot and finally stick to behaviors long term.

A Tribe Called Bliss by Lori Harder

best books 2018One of the things I love doing is reading books intended for different target audiences. Why? Because I get to connect with other people who I seemingly have little in common with, and yet realize that’s not true at all.

This year, I’ve read more books intended for women than any other year: because I want to deepen my understanding of the unique challenges they go through, so I can do better too.

This includes how competitive women can be with one another, and feel isolated in their pursuits. Lori Harder flipped the script and in A Tribe Called Bliss, talks about why the old model isn’t working. It leaves women alone, frustrated and always in scarcity mode.

Recent research has shown the key to a successful marriage or partnership is each person has significant same-sex relationships they can lean on to share a safe space of trust and support. I’ve found this in my own life by surrounding myself with Men on similar paths.

No matter how much hope and validation you put on someone’s approval or a destination —those are not bliss. If bliss means getting things, permission, validation or reaching a destination, you’ll miss a lifetime full of it. – Lori Harder

READ THIS IF:

You’re feeling disconnected from having a support system or tribe and want to feel the power that comes from having a community of people who have your back.

This Is Marketing by Seth Godin

best books 2018Marketing. This vast world can be overwhelming, confusing and downright frightening —I know from experience of working with the biggest brands during my copywriting career. And if I’m being honest with you: I’m still trying to figure it all out.

Here’s the deal, though: marketing is the lifeblood of any business. You can be the best in the world —but if people don’t know about you, it’s going to be a matter of time until you’re forced to close up shop.

Enter Seth Godin, someone who has transformed my business life and view of marketing. His ideas, his thoughtful words and the way he challenges me to think deeper —are a complete gift. Classic books such as Tribes, Purple Cow and Linchpin are constantly on my must read lists.

This Is Marketing is another brilliant read, designed to empower you (instead of confuse you) to think bigger about your brand, product or service.

Marketers make change. We change people from one emotional state to another. We take people on a journey; we help them become the person they’ve dreamed of becoming, a little bit at a time. – Seth Godin

READ THIS IF:

You want to be empowered to understand marketing, influence and sharing your gifts with the world in an unconventional manner.

Living With The Monks by Jesse Itzler

best books 2018In a non-stop, microwavable, breaking news world —when do we ever stop? Everyone’s busy, you’ll rarely ask someone how they’re doing without them telling you about it. And yet, our personal satisfaction and connection seems to be at an all time low. Our obsession with smartphones means we’re connected externally, yet lacking something much deeper.

Enter Jesse Itzler, trailblazer, entrepreneur and full immersion author who felt burned out and chose to do something about it. But instead of taking a one day digital detox, he went to live with monks in upstate New York for two weeks. His writing is entertaining, fun and informative: it invites questions about our current routines and 24/7 connected culture.

I don’t know about you, but there are days I want to unplug. Living With The Monks becomes a trusted guide and reminder of what really matters —and how the world won’t end if you and I don’t check Instagram 47 times a day.

The power and temptations of the outside world are great. Train yourself from the distractions. They are the enemies of your goals. Learn to move past the distractions, and you will succeed. – Jesse Itzler

READ THIS IF:

You need a funny, riveting reminder of the power of unplugging —and know you need to create some space for yourself.

When by Daniel Pink

best books 2018Daniel Pink is one of my favorite authors on the topic of motivation and why we do what we do —and this is where When: The Scientific Secrets Of Perfect Timing comes in, his latest book.

Once I started reading, I couldn’t put it down: it breaks down why timing matters more than we think, and how to use this as leverage for our behavior.

For example, the book breaks down daily timing —when you and I should be doing our most important tasks. Pink’s example of your chances of parole being much, much higher in the morning, than say —before lunch is fascinating. For me personally, it was a reminder to not be so hard on myself and maximize my focused time (with ruthless boundaries.)

I have incredible energy to start my day and choose to use it wisely on things like focused work, writing and what I call big rocks in business. But around 2PM, I start to feel an intense dip —this book reminded me this is normal, and what to do during this time.

It also reminded me of the power of taking intentional breaks to re-charge, as opposed to say, checking email and Instagram, why naps are amazing for us and why niners (29, 39, 49) are more likely to make life changing decisions before a new decade.

Afternoons are the Bermuda Triangles of our days. Across many domains, the trough represents a danger zone for productivity, ethics, and health. – Daniel Pink

READ THIS IF:

You’re having trouble getting your most important work done and want to learn how to leverage timing for big results in life and business.

The Best Self Development, Business and Personal Growth Books of 2018

There’s something for everyone in here, and that’s the point: sometimes, we need a book to spark a creative insight —and sometimes we simply need to be woken up.

If you weren’t able to read a ton this year, don’t fret. Start in 2019 with 10 pages a day, and use Audible and audiobooks to help you learn while on the road.

I’d love to hear from you: which books impacted you the most in 2018?

Ditch The Runway, It’s Time To Fly

By | Advice, Entrepreneurship
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Ditch The Runway, It’s Time To Fly

There’s time we should all be spending on the runway of life: accumulating knowledge, wisdom, practice and repetition. This is where we put our preparation in: the pre-flight checklist, the security measures, the analysis of weather patterns.

And then we start to accelerate. This is where momentum grows, and we’re gathering all the tools we’ll need along our path.

But at some point, if we don’t take off —we will either be forced to abort our dreams or be involved in a fiery crash of epic proportions.

Neither is enticing, and yet how often do we spend our entire lives on the tarmac and runway of our dreams:

Chasing the next certification.
Chasing someone else’s permission.
Chasing a ‘someday’ moment in the future.
Chasing society’s approval to give us the nod to fly.

We’ve all been there, and it never seems to be enough. Once we cross off one checkpoint, we add another.

There has to be a better way —or else our dreams will stay grounded forever.

The Best Time To Start Was Yesterday

We’re on the runway, gaining speed, about to take off —and then we stop. We tell ourselves things like:

“I need more time to research.”
“I need another degree, or certification.”
“I’ll do it when life slows down and I have space.”

And so we start to believe these narratives —and we convince ourselves that one day we’ll make it happen.

Except we won’t, because one day and someday are illusions cut from the cloth of fear and procrastination.

And if we aren’t careful, we’ll live our entire lives on the runway.

We’ll watch other planes with more courage and tenacity take off on their dreams, while we stay safely cradled on the ground as the days, months and years pass by.

So the best time for you to start was yesterday.

Regardless of your current skill level —everything we set out to do will require more work, persistence and overcoming obstacles.

So you might as well start now.

Or else, you’ll get stuck in paralysis by analysis much like I did when picking up a new sport recently.

I Wanted All The Gear Before I Started

Recently, I moved into a new home in Arizona, gloriously tucked away in the mountains with unlimited access to some of the best trails around.

So I chose to pick up Mountain Biking —not really a big think in New York or CT, so I was completely new.

And yet, I found myself on the runway: finding a (used) bike, getting all the gear and spending countless hours studying how to get started.

But I wasn’t actually getting started.

Because I can read all the reviews on the latest gear, but everything will pale in comparison to getting out on the trail and having a split second near-collision with a cactus as I fall in a blaze of glory.

This is what most of us do with our dreams: we waste all our time and energy on preparation —when nothing could prepare us for being in the game.

And then we simply miss out on what really matters:

Experiencing the thrill and gift of life that only comes when we’re flying high above the clouds on our unique voyage:

We’re chasing our dreams, living our truths and taking the call to adventure we all deeply crave.

Not for anyone else, but for the Man or Woman in the mirror.

This unquenchable thrill for life can’t be found in blueprints, spreadsheets and P&L statements.

It happens when we take off, and never look back.

What Are You Waiting For?

Is there a time to harness skills, experience life and gain a level of competency?

Of course.

But way too often this becomes a crutch, a convenient excuse to keep our dreams grounded.

(And a brilliant one at that, because we don’t have face the raw and vulnerable feeling of putting ourselves out there.)

So, what are you waiting for?

Because I know one thing to be true:

Regret will gnaw at our spirits, until one day it has consumed every part of our lives.

You won’t regret giving it a shot.
You won’t regret taking a chance.
You won’t regret betting on you.

But you will regret staying grounded, living a life for other people who don’t have to pay the price of your decisions.

It’s time to pull that throttle back.

It’s time to fly.

Because on the other side of lifting off is a life you can’t imagine.

(NOTE: This metaphor is not my own, I simply expanded on it —thank you to the incredible Liz Gilbert.)

The PayPal Effect (How To Get Anyone’s Attention)

By | Advice
Reading Time: 4 minutes

The PayPal Effect (How To Get Anyone’s Attention)

Can I, Uh…Pick Your Brain?

Every week through the glorious DM (direct message) on social media —I get a variation of the following:

Can I meet you for coffee?
Could I pick your brain for 30 minutes?
I’m in town. I’d love to connect!

And listen, I’m not trying to make myself look cool or popular —my platform isn’t even that big. 

But these messages always come, and while I’d love to meet with people:

I’m very clear about my priorities, goals and outcomes on where I place my most valuable resource: money time.

And you should too.

But what if you’re on the other side?

What if you’ve got something powerful to share with someone?

The great news about social media is you’re a few seconds away from connecting with nearly anyone in the world.

The bad news is: they’re being hit up constantly, and standing out can seem impossible.

Welcome to the PayPal effect, one of my trusted secrets for skipping the line, getting noticed and connecting with people who can give you life shifting advice.

But first, let’s understand what’s in the way and why it matters.

Understanding The Dilemma

Ask nearly anyone these days how they’re doing, and you’ll get a universal response:

I’m so busy.
I’m beyond stressed.
I’m trying to keep up.

Busyness is now #trending, and if you’re not busy —you’re essentially worthless.

But the people who you are trying to reach are truly busy. I don’t mean they’re better than others —but to experience some type of success means they’re at least somewhat intentional about how they use their time.

(Please don’t send me newspaper clippings from Tucker in Idaho who made $1.7 million in lotto winnings and plays Xbox all day to counteract this point.)

Often, these people are being pulled in endless directions —and it’s important for you not only to recognize this…

…but explicitly call it out in any communication. This shows you get it and aren’t someone who’s simply cold messaging them to get them to shout you out.

If you want to stand out even more, be hyper specific about their current busyness and intensity, saying things like:

“I know you’re slammed and just released a new…”
“Congrats on the ____. I know you must have no time, but..”

The first step is all about putting yourself in their shoes, to create instant rapport.

Get. To. The. Point!

I’m a rambler. If you’ve ever listened to the Resist Average Academy podcast —you (may) realize this.

But when you’re reaching out to someone of influence, don’t write a 2,750 word thesis or else you’ll get lost in the noise.

Even if it’s amazing.

Do whatever you can to minimize the word count and get straight to the point. In this case, less is always more.

Instead of telling them your life story with a vague and confusing request (I want to connect…), tell them outright what you want or how you’re looking to help.

The equation to follow is:

Connect with how busy they are + show you care (reference a deeper cut of their material) + be explicit and specific in the shortest amount of words = success!

Recently, when I was asking for endorsements for a book, I put “endorsement request” in the email line.

Why?

So they (or their assistant) knows exactly what the email is about —without the usual fluff.

The PayPal Effect

And now to the clincher: the PayPal effect. When finishing off your communication, the PayPal effect goes like this:

Since you have so much going on and I deeply respect your time —shoot me your PayPal email and I’ll send you a token of my appreciation.

Now, you may be thinking:

This entire thing was about buying people’s time, Tommy!??!

Not really. The PayPal effect works because 99% of people aren’t willing to do it —and it’s not really about the money.

It’s about not being someone who feels entitled to someone else’s time.
It’s about going above and beyond —and truly placing yourself in their shoes.
It’s about respecting yourself enough —knowing you’ll value the interaction more.

And so, yes —the PayPal Effect is all about getting noticed, and skipping the free line where most people are doing anything to get noticed.

But curiously enough, sometimes it doesn’t cost you anything.

Some (Unexpected) Observations

I’ve used the PayPal effect several times to grab people’s attention, get 45 minutes with someone who doesn’t have an opening on their calendar for 6 months —and get access to some incredible people.

I’ve used it to get life shifting advice before, during and after a conference.

The value of these moments were truly in the thousands, or tens of thousands and radically created a shift in my life and business.

Could I have done it without the PayPal effect?

Sure, but it’d likely take 10X the work, persistence and follow up —for the same result.

However, I’ve also noticed some interesting and surprising observations around the PayPal effect, including:

Sometimes asking is enough. I’ve had a lot of people give me their time without giving me their PayPal.

The amount is somewhat irrelevant. Okay, $7 won’t get you too far —but often $200 will get you very far.

People are often surprised when you’re willing to do this. You are remembered instantly, and it will come back to you.

So, What Now?

I remember being at an event in San Diego where Grant Cardone was speaking and he told a story of a kid in the lobby who asked for 15 minutes of his time —offering $1,000.

If you know Grant, you understand he didn’t need the $1K. But, it was besides the point and he took it anyway.

What Grant understood is money and value psychology:

If he took the kid’s money, he’d hang on to every single word Grant said and take his advice 110%. If he didn’t, there would be less chance the kid would take action on his advice.

Remember, if you and I don’t pay —we rarely pay attention.

This, my friends, is the hidden benefit of the PayPal effect: you’re paying to pay attention —and create a radical shift.

For this reason, every penny is worth it.

33 Lessons From 33 Cycles Around The Sun

By | Advice, Entrepreneurship, Lists, Routines
Reading Time: 6 minutes

33 Lessons From 33 Cycles Around The Sun (Yearly Birthday Post)

Ahhhh, another ride around this beautiful, crazy, intense path we called life.

Birthdays for me (and likely you too) are deeply reflective.

Instead of crushing tequila, I’d much rather go on a hike and spend time thinking about the past 364 days.

Where I learned.

Where I fell short.

Where I created.

It’s a time to look back and ask some deep questions about where we are in life, what we’ve learned…

…and what truly matters.

Every year, I share some lessons —and here are 33 lessons from my time here.

I share these with you in hopes you will obtain some value, much like the intention I set with the Resist Average Academy podcast.

1. Sometimes the greatest form of knowledge and wisdom is forgetting what you (think) you know.

In other words: what got us here, won’t get us there. Letting go is hard, yet essential to get to the next level of growth and awareness.

2. We are all on a quest back to self love, appreciation and owning every part of ourselves.

This is how simple it all really is, and I’m always reminded of this core human driver.

3. The greatest quest we’ll ever go on is our own Hero’s journey —the jagged, uneven path to center, to return our gifts.

If you know every step of your path, it’s likely been created by someone else. Your path is yours, own it.

4. Life’s greatest moments are often not manufactured, and are more about allowing.

Take a step back and reflect on life’s greatest moments. Did you manufacture them with blueprints and spreadsheets, or did you allow them?

5. There is incredible power in contrast, the storms in our lives allow the beautiful sunset to taste that much sweeter.

The other day I was hiking in Arizona where we get 350+ days of sunshine a year, and there was an intense storm.

I looked up and thought: damn, that’s beautiful.

It was a reminder there is power in the contrast, and no matter what you’re going through —it will pass.

6. Urgency, and our mortality are beautiful motivators to remember the essential and go all in.

I call this the Cemetery Principle: remembering our own mortality is the best way to slice through the noise and make powerful decisions.

Because the truth is: it is a matter of life or death.

Once you get clear, there are countless ways to find time for what matters.

7. Waiting for an external result to feel fulfilled and at peace with ourselves will never, ever work out.

Start with your foundation, developing your inner power —or else you’ll achieve success and with a hollow and empty feeling.

8. The greatest communication skill is radical honesty —it releases the number one killer of relationships: assumptions.

Think about how assumptions have destroyed prior relationships —often, all we needed to do was have a real, transparent conversation.

9. The secret is you already have everything you need, and yet there’s always more to experience and grow from.

This is a beautiful paradox and makes our lives invigorating.

10. You know you’ve found your calling when you can’t not do it.

can’t not do what I do. If I had all the money, I’d still do it. If I had all the time, I’d still do it.

11. Our heads often block the most powerful parts of who we are: our hearts.

So many of the people I coach and consult with are stuck in their heads.

(I’ve been there, too.)

And yet, our heads take us away from what really matters: the deepest part of who we are.

12. Intuition will always trump logic, whiteboards and blueprints. Learn to listen to it.

Always trust the internal voice which always knows what to do.

It’s pure wisdom.

13. Go to the places that inspire you, and bring you to tears. Disconnect from the noise, to reconnect to what really matters.

Start here on your path to personal growth. For me, it’s nature —I literally packed my bags and moved cross country because it inspires me so much.

These days, I’m outside in nature 5-6 times per week and I always receive a gift.

What’s your inspiration?

14. Change something, anything! Don’t place yourself in a rigid box. Think you’re an introvert? Go to improv. Hate dancing? Sign up for Salsa.

I’m not a fan of personality tests. I believe they put you and I in boxes —keeping us stuck and rigid.

15. Every time you leave someone, ask yourself —if this was our last communication, would I be proud of how I showed up?

I use this often when speaking to parents or family.

16. The ego is always in the way of learning, growth, peace, acceptance —learn to dissolve it.

The first rule of all my programs is simple:

Drop the ego.

Without this, transformation is a pipe dream.

17. You are much more powerful than you give yourself credit for. And deep down, you know it. This scares you.

However, you’ve ignored the truth of who you are, we all have.

It’s time to get back into it and allow it back into the world.

18. There’s never a “right” time for anything. Dent the quantum field and create it now —book the trip, ask them out, launch the business and live out loud.

“When the kids are a little older.”

“When life slows down and I’m less busy.”

“When I have the money, I’ll invest in myself.

These are all excuses our minds use to keep us stuck, comfortable and playing small.

19. Distraction is a source of un-faced pain —usually in the form of lacking alignment with our purpose and vision.

The times in my life I was most lost, disconnected from purpose and lacking clarity were the times I was all in on fantasy sports, message boards, random entertainment, etc.

Distraction is a feedback mechanism.

20. Be yourself, and don’t apologize. I can be a very intense guy…for years, I tried to dim it —and then I presented myself.

Just be you. 

I’m intense, why would I fight it?

21. On that note, have way more fun. No one gets out of alive. Everyone’s naked anyway 😉

And yes, be yourself but also have a lot of fun along the way.

I’ve been practicing this more often and learning to spend time playing has nourished my spirit and creativity.

22. Fall in love with giving. You can give right now, even if you can’t pay your bills.

I call this the 2-for-1 principle: when you grab a protein bar at the gas station, get two. When you grab water, or drinks, or snacks, grab two. Then hand them out to people in need.

23. Positive psychology is (largely) ineffective. Your “bad” emotions aren’t —they’re a feedback mechanism. Let them be.

You’re human, act like it.

Don’t judge yourself for feeling sad, angry or triggered. Learn to understand your emotions instead of labeling them —and find ways to release them.

24. Clarity is a daily practice, and takes time. Don’t force it, but don’t use it as an excuse to not get started.

Every day, re-affirm your vision for at least 10 minutes.

25. If you wanted it bad enough, you’d find the time, money and energy. Seriously —this has never held a willing person back.

Just saying. A lot of people tell me they don’t have the time and energy. I’ve been broke, with overdrafts on all my accounts.

I still moved forward, because I was willing.

26. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and owned who you are? Do it today.

Tell yourself the truth: you are more powerful than you give yourself credit for.

27. Look up more than you look down. There are no answers in our phones, they all come from the curiosity and willingness to look up.

Be curious! Experience the zest of being alive. Ditch the phone for a weekend, take an adventure…live out loud.

28. Your breakdown can become your greatest breakthrough. Or, it can become your identity that you take to the grave.

Your choice —because playing the victim card leaves us power-less to change. It feels great for a minute, until it doesn’t anymore.

29. Don’t normalize extraordinary. Your heart is a miracle. Your brain is a mystery. This moment has magic.

To quote one of my favorite books, The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman: there are no ordinary moments.

30. Don’t settle in relationships. Be patient and wait for someone that lights your world on fire.

I didn’t settle, and yet I was tempted to. Nourish the relationship with yourself, and watch what happens.

31. Fall in love with pain —it is the greatest focuser, and suffering because of it is always optional.

Pain is part of life and becomes a great focuser —suffering is the avoidance of pain.

32. Sprint until you can’t anymore. Smile deeper than you ever have. Cry louder so everyone can hear you. Raise the volume on your life!

Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up!

33. There are no ordinary moments (thanks, Dan Millman.)

As I reflect back on this year…

I want to say thank you to anyone who I’ve come in contact with —who supported me, challenged me and allowed me to be my best self.

Because today, everything changes again.

Thank you for being here, and here’s to the next.

31 Simple Ways To Level Up Your Business And Life, Create More Results…and Have More Fun

By | Advice, Entrepreneurship, Lists, Routines
Reading Time: 7 minutes

31 Simple Ways To Level Up Your Business And Life, Create More Results…and Have More Fun

Do you want to level up? Let’s define what that means first: for me, it means to live with more fulfillment and results across all the areas of life.

One of the ways I define success on the Resist Average Academy podcast is simple: creating a life I can’t wait to wake up for.

Does this mean every day is full of puppies and sunshine? Well, sunshine maybe (I do live in Arizona.)

But not always.

It means I’m excited to face both the opportunities and challenges along the way.

All while having an absolute blast through it all, and you can do the same.

1. Start and end your day on Airplane Mode — you don’t need to check Instagram for the 37th time.

This is my number one tip when people ask me the easiest habit with the most benefit.

Starting your day on Airplane Mode will give you insane levels of focus, peace and results.

2. Take 5 minutes every single day to reaffirm your vision and remind yourself of where you’re going.

This is your compass, your North Star. Without tuning in to your vision every single day, other people’s agendas and priorities will get in the way.

3. Clap when you wake up, especially if you’re not a morning person — this will anchor excitement to start your day.

I used to do this every day (my fiancee would kill me right now.)

But why did I?

I wanted to anchor in the habit of being a morning person —and while it took time, it worked.

4. Spend 20 minutes in the morning doing something you love and that increases a skill with focused work.

Without turning your phone on or checking email —spend time on the most important project of your business and life.

5. Have some type of routine…there’s a hundred options — pick one and stick with it.

The masters have routines, allowing them to save precious bandwidth and energy on the stuff that truly matters.

6. Say a simple “thank you” and remember over 100,000 die every day.

You woke up today, you’re playing with house money.

Remember —we’re on a spinning rock circling another big fiery rock, rotating around a massive cluster of rocks.

You’re here: embrace the miracle.

7. Do one new thing every single day. Take a different route home, send the message when you normally wouldn’t — break a pattern.

While routines and habits are powerful —Jesse  —, entrepreneur and New York Times Bestseller also taught me they can get us in a rut.

Once in a while, break the pattern and do something you’ve never done.

8. Everytime you look in the mirror, hold space. Tell yourself how powerful you are and condition yourself for self appreciation.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

If it’s anything except someone who has greatness inside of them —you’ve got work to do.

(I call this the Cool Runnings effect, because I love that part in the movie.)

9. Change your work environment from time to time, we all need need scenery — go to a completely different part of town, or outside.

Don’t tell me you can’t. For my freelancers, solopreneurs and entrepreneurs: change your environment, and try something new.

This will spark your creativity, inspiration and perspective.

10. Spend several time blocks during your day with your phone off and unavailable. You’ll start to cultivate a rare and powerful focus.

Focus, focus, focus. There is no shortage of dreamers out there, but in a world of endless noise —focus becomes your competitive advantage.

11. There’s some stuff in your business or life you simply hate doing. Delegate cleaning your place, scheduling appointments or anything that crushes your energy.

Just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you should. Delegate the non-essential, and protect your most valuable resource liike your life depends on it.

Because it does.

12. Affirmations are largely ineffective — if you want to believe something, write it down 500 times.

I do this exercise at least once a week. If you follow me on social media, there is no doubt you have seen this.

13. Be honest with yourself — and don’t believe your excuses. Give yourself permission to tell yourself what you really want out of this life.

Do you buy your own bullshit? I don’t, and it’s why I not only surround myself with real friends (not enablers) but practice radical honesty with myself.

I encourage you to do the same.

14. Don’t buy anyone’s version of success — or else you’ll chase something that you never wanted, which is a sinking feeling.

Spend time defining and re-fining your definition of success —and ensure it’s based on what you really want.

For example, cars do absolutely nothing for me. I will never own a fleet of sports cars, because they don’t move the needle for me.

15. Add playing your favorite song to your morning routine. Rock out for a moment, and bonus points for air guitar.

Have more fun —be willing to look dumb, and feel alive while doing so.

16. Read ten pages every single morning. If you don’t touch a book the rest of the day, you’ve got 18 books read for the year and are in the 2%.

Ten pages. You have the time, and you know it.

This simple trick can lead you to read 15-20 books a year —enough to start to become an expert and thought leader in your field, or on your path to personal mastery.

17. Question everything and allow space for a new perspective, but don’t be a cynic. Cynics don’t allow space, they’ve already decided to see the worst…don’t be this person.

There’s a razor’s edge between these two —but you can feel a cynics energy from a mile away.

Be willing to question everything, but for the right reasons.

18. Listen to the hits of wisdom you get every single day — the trip, the business idea, the book…and execute like your hair’s on fire or else you’ll forget.

Your intuition is one of the most powerful sources of wisdom you’ll ever find. Learn to trust it, honor it and listen to it —even if it doesn’t make sense.

Especially if it doesn’t make sense.

19. Spend time learning something you’re terrible at every week. Guitar, salsa dancing, boxing, sharing a message on video…embrace being a beginner.

I love this one. I love being new. Why? Because it’s fun, and teaches you and I countless lessons.

20. Find creative ways to tell the person you love how much you appreciate them. A little effort, goes a long way.

Post it notes, flowers, random gifts —these go a long way to creating a lifetime of connection.

21. You already know the answer. Stop searching for the answer in other people’s content…create 80% of the time, and consume 20% of the time.

I get it —you’re consuming my content. But the truth is, I’m here to help you share the wisdom you have, too.

22. It’s never the right time to hire a coach to help unleash the most powerful version of who you are and set you on a powerful track. Instead of the vacation, invest in making your real life so awesome, it feels like one.

I believe there is no faster, more efficient and powerful way to transform our lives than to hire a coach.

We all have blind spots, including this guy.

Often, people are afraid to invest in themselves for the wrong reasons.

23. It’s never too late, but in life we have windows. Recognize your window, and take the leap that’s been calling you. What’s the worst that could happen?

You and I have windows of opportunity that come and go —and once the door closes, it’s gone forever.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Ask him or her out —okay, you feel the burn of a little rejection, but at least you know.

Quit the job and start the business —okay, you failed and then found a brand new opportunity.

Click recored and ship your message —okay, no one showed up, but you overcame resistance.

BONUS #1: There’s always another dead end job, stop being so grateful for the thing that’s sucking your spirit.

24. Don’t make daily passion a precursor to create. Understand creating and executing creates those feelings.

It’s time to break this cycle once and for all.

Want clarity? Execute.

Want motivation? Execute.

Want energy? Execute.

25. Consistency is everything and more important than intensity. Do something 7 days a week for 15 minutes, instead of 3 days a week for one hour.

Every single day, I write at least 500 words. When I’m in book writing mode, the bar is set at 2,000 words.

When I say every day —it includes Sundays, holidays, vacations and Tuesdays.

26. Book the trip. Ask him or her out. Talk to that stranger. Launch your business now. Regret fucking sucks.

Come on!

We all need a wake up call.

What are you waiting for?

BONUS #2: Fall in love with rejection…and understand for every ‘no’, there’s an incredible yes waiting.

27. Environment matters 10X more than most people believe. Ultimately, it’ll determine the rate of your growth.

If you want to transform your life with the least amount of friction —shift your environment.

28. Smile, it looks good on you.

Seriously, right now: smiling creates positive energy all around.

29. It’s too late to create space when you’re burned out. Bulletproof yourself by creating space every single day.

White space is essential, no matter who you are.

Create it in advance, or it will be created for you.

(Here’s a snapshot of mine, and no one can schedule anything here without approval.)

30. Make your daily, human interactions less robotic — they’re transactions, but they don’t have to be transactional. Be remembered.

Be that person who makes someone’s day. Tell the grocery store clerk how awesome she is at what she does, and you will be remembered.

BONUS #3: Be the leader in any interaction, people are waiting for someone to give them permission.

31. You can have a down hour, a down day, a down week. But don’t ever give up on yourself.

Please, don’t give up.

We all have moments where we want to give in, but allow yourself some grace and keep going.

Which of these resonated?

Pick a few, and commit to them for the next 30 days, and watch what happens.

I’d love to hear what connected in the comments, and if you have anything else to add.

17 Reasons Why You’re Afraid To Invest In Yourself

By | Advice, Entrepreneurship, Lists
Reading Time: 5 minutes

17 Reasons Why You’re Afraid To Invest In Yourself

I still remember the moment. I’d gone on an intensive training on a whim, and my world had been ripped open.

And then they offered me the yearlong program —I was all in.

Except for one problem: the ticket price was $20,000.

Shit.

I had no frame of reference for this, and I had $757 in my checking account —and still hadn’t paid rent.

And yet, I was being called to do it.

The decision didn’t make any sense, I committed and doubled down.

It was one of the most powerful moments of my life and it had very little to do with the program.

(Although that was awesome, too.)

It had to do with the fact that I was telling myself I was worth that kind of cash.

Since then, I’ve invested over $200,000 in programs, coaches, seminars, live events and more.

The truth is simple: I would not be who I am today without investing in myself.

Here are 17 reasons you’re afraid to invest in yourself, and why it’s keeping you stuck.

1. You don’t believe you’re worth it.

Plain and simple: before that moment, I didn’t believe I was worth it. Putting that amount of money down was liberating: I chose myself, and I backed up my belief with cash.

There is no better way to declare you’re worth it.

2. You don’t trust yourself.

Often, once we trust someone else to assist us in our goals —we must be able to trust ourselves. Trust ourselves to follow through, get uncomfortable and grow.

3. You’re not truly ready.

Until you invest in yourself, you’re not truly ready. I’m not saying it has to be $20K, but if you aren’t willing to invest…

It’s simply not important enough for you.

4. You’re waiting to “have the money.”

This is the most common excuse I hear, and I’ve used it too. And yet: not having the money is exactly why you should invest in yourself.

What you’ve been doing is clearly not working. I recognized this, and knew I had to write a new financial story.

PRO TIP: Making the same decisions will lead to the same results. 

 

5. You love dreaming, but not doing.

In a hyped up, motivational YouTube world —information is cheap.

And it’s free.

People love consuming free information and dreaming about their business, but they don’t love what comes after: the hard work.

6. You don’t want to be on the hook.

Once you invest in yourself, your dreams are on the line. You’re on the hook. There is nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide, and your excuses are no longer valid.

For many, this can be daunting.

7. You’re not willing to be resourceful.

If it’s important enough, we can all find the money. We can make it work somehow, someway.

But most people would rather spend the money on a leather jacket or Cancun vacation.

As awesome as those are, they won’t transform your life.

8. You want to stay the same.

Sounds crazy, right? Wrong. Most people want to stay the same. They fear stepping into their power.

Marianne Williamson said it best:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.”

9. Your dreams haven’t become non-negotiable.

I was talking to JJ Virgin the other day, and she told me about the time she invested in a $100,000 mastermind.

She didn’t even know what it was, and had no means to do it: and yet, she ran to the back of the room, signed up and it changed her life forever.

Why? Her dreams were non-negotiable. They were binary. There was no chance they wouldn’t happen.

PRO TIP: Take yourself five years down the line. What is the cost of staying the same?

 

10. You’re letting fear win.

You’re afraid of putting money down and not taking action.
You’re afraid of declaring your dreams to someone else.
You’re afraid of being held accountable to your vision.
You’re afraid of achieving success and changing your life.

These fears are always out there.

11. You’re waiting for the “right” time.

So often, I’ll have discussions with people out one of my programs, and they’ll say the timing isn’t right.

Here’s the deal: the timing will never be right, you make it right.

Life won’t get less busy, the kids won’t be less intense, your bills aren’t going to disappear.

12. You’re not ready to be challenged.

The best coaching is a heavy mix of support and challenge. I push my clients and I tell them the truth: I point out where they’re playing small and listening to the bullshit voices in their head.

And I expect the same when I invest in myself. We all have blind spots, and I want people to show me mine.

13. You want to roll solo.

Good luck with this one. Can you do it? Maybe. But it may take 8 years, instead of 2.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to pay the heavy burden of opportunity cost.

14. You’re not being honest with yourself.

We’re masters at not looking in the mirror. Often, I’ll speak to potential clients and they’ll sugarcoat their problems.

This lack of honesty serves a purpose: it makes them avoid making powerful decisions to transform.

Without getting radically honest, you won’t feel compelled to change and will continue to slide into mediocrity.

 

PRO TIP: Take honest inventory of how your circumstances are impacting every part of your life.

15. You’re entitled and want it free.

This is a charged word, but it’s true: people feel they deserve free coaching, mentoring and time from others.

A few months back, I received a message from someone who wanted two hours of my time.

I quoted them $750, and they came back with a rude message —because they “knew” me, they wanted it free (or discounted.)

What they fail to recognize is they wouldn’t do anything with free advice.

16. You want to keep playing small.

Investing in yourself is a bold declaration of trust, faith and belief in who you are and what you’re creating.

But it’s also a shift from playing small to playing much bigger —and not everyone is ready to play big.

17. You have a bad relationship with money.

We all have stories and beliefs around money —but people who avoid investing in themselves have a scarcity mindset.

They don’t understand money is energy, and energy is what makes this planet go round.

They don’t get that the same energy they invested is the energy that will come back to them 5 times over.

One Can and Will Change You

When I came home from the seminar, I was a changed person.

But I was also scared and nervous.

Six weeks after investing the $20,000 I didn’t have —we launched a new program in my fitness business.

We made $50,000 in one day.

If you had told me this would happen before, I’d call you insane, crazy and delusional.

And there is the beautiful lesson: investing in yourself is the fastest path to transformation and creating a radically different life.

Which one of these resonated with you? I’d love to hear it.

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Written by Tommy Baker.
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