How to Hire a Coach, Mentor or Program Pt. III
YOU HIRED A COACH, NOW SUCCESS IS YOURS…RIGHT?
You did it.
You put your dreams on the line and chose to stack the chips and go all in by hiring a coach, mentor or program.
The first time you do this is special —and the transformative energy of writing your dreams a check is palpable.
Right before this moment, there’s fear, doubts and really wondering what the hell you’re doing. But the moment you finish writing the check or paying the invoice —a tsunami of emotions comes through you and you realize what you’ve gone:
You’ve gotten off the sidelines of life where 95% of people are.
You are in the game, you’re not only dreaming big…but acting big. Make no mistake: this is huge, and you should be proud of yourself.
And now it’s only a matter of time before you’re making it rain with stacks of cash in your bank, fueled by purpose and commitment like never before, right?
Possibly, but not always. During Part III, I really wanted to peel back the curtains and give you an inside look at how to maximize your experience.
Because while everything we’ve covered to this point is powerful —not every coaching experience comes with 100% success rate. This may seem obvious, but even with the best experiences that come with proven results, there are people who don’t get out of their own way.
They may have paid, but they stay comfortable.
They may have committed, but they don’t follow through.
They may have made a bold decision once, but don’t repeat those.
For myself, I’ve been part of nearly every type of experience imaginable —including masterminds, virtual programs, one day seminars, 7 day seminars, online courses, Facebook groups, etc. I’ve also run nearly of these and leading people on the other side through my own work.
It’s time to discover how to make your coaching experience an undeniable success by reviewing the rules of engagement I use with my clients. Before any experience, I share this and have each client commit to them, and now they’re yours, too.
Let’s dig in.
Rule #1: Drop The Ego
The number one obstacle in the way of your growth, my growth and everyone else’s is simple: our egos. This isn’t debatable, it’s reality.
Because your ego wants to keep you small. It wants to keep you exactly where you are today. It wants to ensure every part of itself stays in tact, and it doesn’t want to let go.
Letting go to the ego is a form of death —and it can and will do anything to avoid this vulnerable state.
Because I’ve seen people pay tens of thousands of dollars, declare how bad they want or need a program or coach —and then let the ego win. We are not dealing with something simple here: the ego is creative, relentless and stubborn.
So, how do you actually drop the ego?
First, it starts with being aware. If you picked the right coaching experience —you’re going to be challenged and pushed to your edge. Simply signing up means you’re asking for help, which the ego already hates. But during your experience, the ego will look for ways to:
Prove you’re right.
Talk you out of big decisions.
Make excuses to let you off the hook.
Remember: each of these are designed to keep you exactly where you are —and you must be hyper aware of this in real time.
Secondly, you have to keep your eyes on the prize and remember why you started in the first place. Because the ego thrives on the short term, you must remember your North Star vision and deep rooted ‘why.’ Without this, it becomes easy to listen to the voices of the ego and start to believe its false narratives.
Lastly, when your ego is being challenged and you feel emotionally triggered —see this as growth in real time. This is not bad, it’s not a time to quit…it’s a time to lean in to the discomfort and find the gift on the other side.
ACTION: Dropping the ego is not a one time decision. On the path of your growth —it’s a daily one.
Rule #2: Trust the Process
“I don’t know if I can keep going, man. This is hard.”
I’m sitting three fourths of the way of from my favorite hike in Phoenix, one I’ve done 117 times in less than 3 years. My client flew in from Los Angeles for a one day intensive to create a game-plan for every part of his business and life.
But I don’t start in a conference room at my office, we’re on the mountain and it’s a brisk 103 degrees. It’s July. Steve is 44 years old. He made $200,000 in personal income last year. He’s got 3 kids. And he’s here with me in the sweltering heat, carrying an enormous rock on his shoulders. It hurts. And oh yeah, he paid me to do this.
“You’re focusing on the pain, and that’s why it hurts. Start identifying what the rock means to you, and why you’re carrying it. Let’s go, you’re playing small.”
And the path continues. He grimaces every step of the way. The rock is uncomfortable by design: no matter how one carries it, it restricts breathing. The mountain is hard enough, the rock makes it harsher. This is part of how I help clients experience radical clarity, leading to transformation and results.
Rule number two is about one thing and one thing only: trusting the process of your coaching, mentoring or program experience. It’s about knowing someone else is in charge and has your best interests in mind —and being okay with this.
One of the biggest downfalls of your coaching experience will come with not trusting the short term process. For myself and my clients —I prepare deeply and intensely, creating all types of ways to help them achieve clarity and step into their power.
If they didn’t trust the process, they wouldn’t be standing in the middle of a mountain as I pushed them —holding a rock. They wouldn’t persist in the middle of a coaching session where we’re digging into an anchor from the past that has now become an excuse.
If you can’t trust the process, you can’t expect results.
ACTION: Trusting the process means trusting yourself. Stay present and understand your coach or mentor knows what they’re doing and why.
If you can’t trust the process, you can’t expect results.
Rule #3: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
The third rule to maximize your success with your coaching experience is to get comfortable being uncomfortable. I know this sounds obvious —but it amazes me how many people will commit to something and then not be willing to get uncomfortable.
All four types of coaching experiences will require you to get uncomfortable in a variety of ways. For example:
The informational coaching experience will require you to cross the threshold from “thinking” to doing.
The motivational coaching experience will have you drop your addiction to low emotional states and tap into your peak energy and vitality.
The inspirational coaching experience will have you get rid of the armor, the convenient layers you’ve created and are using as anchors —to remember who you really are.
Lastly, the transformational coaching experience will be a mix of all of the above and will take you to some dark caves —plunging you into the depths of who you are to bring you back as the most powerful, grounded and purposeful self.
If your coaching experience is making you at least slightly uncomfortable, something is missing. To achieve a result you don’t currently have is going to require you to shed old beliefs, ways of operating, habits, rituals and mindsets. Part of this, naturally —means discomfort.
ACTION: Be willing to get uncomfortable and see this for what it represents: your growth, and ultimately results.
Rule #4: Be Radically Honest
There was a time in my life where I needed to get out. I needed to leave my environment, and I’d built a business I now hated. I felt alone, disconnected and started to resent myself for not taking action.
But there was one core reason all of these feelings were bottled up: I wasn’t getting radically honest. No one knew about my predicament, because I chose to hide it.
Being a positive and energetic person —I chose to keep it to myself.
Until I no longer could, and I remember being on a mastermind call and declaring all of the above. My initial expectation was for people to laugh at me and mock me —and of course, that didn’t happen.
They agreed with me and validated my feelings.
I let out the biggest exhale ever —and remembered the power of sharing our truth.
Your coaching experience will demand you get radically honest if you want to achieve your biggest breakthroughs. It sounds obvious, but we’re so skilled at building facades with ourselves —it can be a massive challenge to even know what to get honest about.
So, what do you need to be radically honest about?
Where you find yourself today. Your level of fulfillment in all areas of life. What’s not working and how it makes you feel. What you really want to be doing, and why.
Without this crucial piece, you’ll miss out on life-changing breakthroughs, insights and results.
ACTION: Before you start your experience, put all of your deeper truths on paper. Journal why you’re really in the program, and get radically honest.
Rule #5: No Weak Language
No, not here. The last and final rule of my coaching experiences (and ones you should adopt no matter who you choose to work with) is simply no weak language.
Weak language allows for excuses to come in, ensure you play small and can kill an otherwise transformative experience.
Here’s why this matters: our language provides a behind-the-scenes look at our closely held beliefs, and even more importantly —the level of belief and self trust we have with ourselves.
In my programs, we have a rule where we’re allowed to interrupt anyone at anytime (including me, of course) when they’re using weak or half hearted language.
One of the amazing things that happen when you become aware of your own weak language is how much you see it in other people. You overhear a conversation at your local Starbucks —and you’ll be amazed at how often we use these words that don’t mean anything.
Not here. Instead, when you speak —own it and declare it with everything you’ve got. Be willing to put yourself on the line.
ACTION: Eradicate all weak language, and start catching yourself in the process. Ask others to call you out, too.
So, What Are You Waiting For?
We’ve come a long way. I wanted to create this resource, which is nearly 6,000 words —to help you step into a coaching or mentoring experience for one reason and one reason only:
They can, and they will —change every part of your life.
Sure, I’m biased, but I can say with definitive clarity that I would not be where I am today if I had not made that bold decision to go all in on myself.
My story is definitely extreme, but it’s what I needed at the time. Because if I don’t make that bold choice, I don’t have a $55,000 day in business, I don’t move cross country when I knew I needed to, I don’t meet my soul mate and I may be living a completely different life.
So as we finish this experience together, all I have is one question for you:
What are you waiting for?
I’m often having conversations with people who know it’s time, and yet don’t take action. Each day they put it off —they begin to lose a fraction of their belief and energy to create something new. Until one day, it’s gone for good.
How to Hire a Coach, Mentor or Program Pt. III
I’ll be adding a special Part IV bonus section to this piece, and will link it here once it’s out. But for now, you have all you need.
As of January 2019, these are the experiences I offer:
3P Experience. This is for you if you’re making less than $100K, control your financial destiny (i.e. entrepreneur, solopreneur or wanting to be one) and need to deepen your purpose, power and profit.
Breakthrough Mastermind. The Mastermind is for those making at least $200K and are at a ‘comfortable’ level but leaving so much on the table. You’re wanting to get to the next level and 5X every area of your life.
Private Coaching / Intensive. The last one is a fully customized experience where you come to Scottsdale, AZ and spend a day with me and/or enroll in a 100 day private coaching experience with me.
Fill out an application here, or simply email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll take it from there.
I’d love to hear from you in comments, especially if you have any questions.